I was waiting for my turn in this tiny dental clinic at CCK exchange with my mum this afternoon. There was this Malay man with his daughter, waiting for his wife. We watched CJ7 together and laughed at the funny bits.
The toothache I had yesterday was because of this stupid cavity I had a few years ago which worsened and so I had root canal treatment today. It involved painful injections in my mouth (I totally looked at the huge needle and freaked out) which made the left side of my mouth numb so that I wouldn't feel any pain.
The dentist took an x-ray of my teeth and started drilling and poking my tooth with things that look like small screws. She injected some liquid inside and used white fillings which looked like tissue paper. During the procedure, I forgot that I was given an anaesthetic injection and I braced myself for pain whenever she picked up scary looking objects.
Mum, Dad and I went to my sister's NTU hostel to help her pack up her stuff and move everything home. Okay, I didn't really help pack. I just went there to help carry stuff and to see how her room looked like. Mum hates the place but I wouldn't mind staying there.
Drinking and talking was a bit weird but smiling was the worst. After seeing the dentist, I couldn't smile properly. When I tried to smile, my lips were crooked or something. My sister laughed at me because of that. Hahah.
You know what? Now that I think of it, I was being so stupid. It's my fault to have made that decision - but I have no regrets. Things happen for a reason, and one fine day, I'll look back, realise why it happened and figure out why it turned out this way. That will be the day when I'll be able to get over it and move on. But for now, I'm going to make sure that this stupid 沉重的心情/ sinking feeling in my chest disappears. I'll go back to my usual self and stop hurling vulgarities. I'm taking the first step out of being "emo", and I'll have to listen to my own advice: that life is great and being "emo" is unhealthy.
I can do this! :D
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
WTF
I wasn't really happy this morning because of something and Miuyen could tell. Xueying gave me a hug. Aww, thanks :)
My mood got better as lessons went by and I acted like everything was okay.
But when school was about to end, I felt this pain in my chest. I called him.
On the bus, I tried to predict what he wanted to say.
When we talked, I was on the verge of tears. I teared, not cried. (I only consider it crying when my nose turns horrendously red and when I can't even speak.)
He said what I predicted him to say. I held back more tears.
I went back home and pretended nothing happened. I came out and gave him the gift which I prepared, for two weeks ago.
Went back to school and pretended nothing happened.
I even made a new friend! I don't know how to spell her name but she's the NE rep of 09A03. Chrystabel and Vanessa are NE reps too.
Sitting alone in front of the computer, pretending nothing happened.
I've been pretending for more than a week. I can't keep this up.
No, I don't understand at all. I seriously don't. Maybe I don't want to.
I don't want the nightmare I had to come true.
Why the hell am I crying again?
My mood got better as lessons went by and I acted like everything was okay.
But when school was about to end, I felt this pain in my chest. I called him.
On the bus, I tried to predict what he wanted to say.
When we talked, I was on the verge of tears. I teared, not cried. (I only consider it crying when my nose turns horrendously red and when I can't even speak.)
He said what I predicted him to say. I held back more tears.
I went back home and pretended nothing happened. I came out and gave him the gift which I prepared, for two weeks ago.
Went back to school and pretended nothing happened.
I even made a new friend! I don't know how to spell her name but she's the NE rep of 09A03. Chrystabel and Vanessa are NE reps too.
Sitting alone in front of the computer, pretending nothing happened.
I've been pretending for more than a week. I can't keep this up.
No, I don't understand at all. I seriously don't. Maybe I don't want to.
I don't want the nightmare I had to come true.
Why the hell am I crying again?
My collection of short, improper posts.
Monday, 30th March: We had our 2.4km run during PE and I just passed, but my timing was better than usual. After choir, I had dinner with Donovan, Hanif and Khairiah at Pizzahut. It was nice but I was so tired as I slept at 4am the previous night.
Tuesday, 31st March: China beauty prom queen Pei Jun's birthday! During history tutorial, Xueying was talking about "Pioneer's got talent" and I don't know why, but the SC ("Skinnies Club") was formed. LOL. Yeah, something to do with skinny jeans and other activities starting with the letter "S". Hung out at McDonalds after school with Stalker, Xueying and Miuyen. At night over MSN, Shiya told me that I got the St. John Ambulance Brigade Award. My reaction: How come?
Wednesday, 1st April: In the morning, the BBSS people from PJC who gathered at the steps near the parade square were discussing about AAC. I thought that telling me I got the award was Shiya's form of an April Fools' joke, but it wasn't because she heard it from Mr. Chun and knew all the names of those getting awards, too. Oh, and we followed Friday's timetable. Went to Lot 1 with almost half the class. Walked home to rest before going back to school. Mum was encouraging me not to go for choir since I was already home but I decided not to pon choir practice.
Thursday, 2nd April: Had PE (crazy stations shit) and choir. I hate days with PE and choir. It is SUPER TIRING.
Friday, 3rd April: Happy 1st month! :) I met Mary Jane, Karina and Debby at Buona Vista and we went to this place for the CIP project we're going to embark on: tutoring primary school kids!
Saturday, 4th April: I was pissed with my entire family. There was some kind of tension hovering in the air while we drove over to my cousin's place, for my niece's baby shower. The baby is called Anya.
Monday, 6th April: I have to redo PW! My topic sucks. We had our GP debate and the class that came to sit in and listen was Atiqah and Ama's class. After PE was choir. Hanif told me to wait for him at the "normal place", which I find to be amusing.
Tuesday, 7th April: I have no freaking idea why I had chest pains during literature. Stalker thinks that it is due to lack of sleep.
Wednesday, 8th April: Mum got me this pink chinese electronic dictionary.
Friday, 10th April: Good Friday!
Saturday, 11th April: Choral exchange at PJC. The schools which attended this were TPJC, Pasir Ris Crest and Kranji Secondary.
Sunday, 12th April: My sister made me a blogskin! Yay.
Tuesday, 31st March: China beauty prom queen Pei Jun's birthday! During history tutorial, Xueying was talking about "Pioneer's got talent" and I don't know why, but the SC ("Skinnies Club") was formed. LOL. Yeah, something to do with skinny jeans and other activities starting with the letter "S". Hung out at McDonalds after school with Stalker, Xueying and Miuyen. At night over MSN, Shiya told me that I got the St. John Ambulance Brigade Award. My reaction: How come?
Wednesday, 1st April: In the morning, the BBSS people from PJC who gathered at the steps near the parade square were discussing about AAC. I thought that telling me I got the award was Shiya's form of an April Fools' joke, but it wasn't because she heard it from Mr. Chun and knew all the names of those getting awards, too. Oh, and we followed Friday's timetable. Went to Lot 1 with almost half the class. Walked home to rest before going back to school. Mum was encouraging me not to go for choir since I was already home but I decided not to pon choir practice.
Thursday, 2nd April: Had PE (crazy stations shit) and choir. I hate days with PE and choir. It is SUPER TIRING.
Friday, 3rd April: Happy 1st month! :) I met Mary Jane, Karina and Debby at Buona Vista and we went to this place for the CIP project we're going to embark on: tutoring primary school kids!
Saturday, 4th April: I was pissed with my entire family. There was some kind of tension hovering in the air while we drove over to my cousin's place, for my niece's baby shower. The baby is called Anya.
Monday, 6th April: I have to redo PW! My topic sucks. We had our GP debate and the class that came to sit in and listen was Atiqah and Ama's class. After PE was choir. Hanif told me to wait for him at the "normal place", which I find to be amusing.
Tuesday, 7th April: I have no freaking idea why I had chest pains during literature. Stalker thinks that it is due to lack of sleep.
Wednesday, 8th April: Mum got me this pink chinese electronic dictionary.
Friday, 10th April: Good Friday!
Saturday, 11th April: Choral exchange at PJC. The schools which attended this were TPJC, Pasir Ris Crest and Kranji Secondary.
Sunday, 12th April: My sister made me a blogskin! Yay.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Dear blog,
I have 101 things to write about but I do not have the time because I have not completed my homework. JC life is suffocating me. My mother does not understand that I need peace and quiet while doing my homework. She just keeps talking and talking. Loudly. It annoys me. I want to refer her to a therapist. Okay, just kidding. It is my fault for procrastinating.
WHY THE HECK IS EVERYONE TELLING ME TO SLEEP WHEN I HAVE NOT DONE MY HOMEWORK? I do not deserve to sleep!
-Drops dead in front of the keyboard-
WHY THE HECK IS EVERYONE TELLING ME TO SLEEP WHEN I HAVE NOT DONE MY HOMEWORK? I do not deserve to sleep!
-Drops dead in front of the keyboard-
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