wtf?

oh mummy, mummy! please, hear my plea
transfer me to a school, where no one knows my identity
where no one would ask me why i broke up with him
where no one would call me names for being silm

a place where no one would say that i'm "not virtuous"
a place where teachers treat all students with fairness
where i could forget my past, and no one would bother
if i had joined the choir, or became a first aider

forget my past apirations of becoming a teacher
or idolizing various authors, wanting to be a writer
or better still, mum, let's have our names changed!
and migrate to New Zealand - that could be arranged

just ship me to a place, where i could be free
to a place where i could escape from this misery
to a place where nobody knows my history
a place where i would be happy.. by just being me.

woke up with 6 new messages! paul, nureen, shiya, melina and michelle, thanks for the concern(: am now resting at home recovering from my slight fever and sore throat while you guys are having some boring lesson. haha.


broke down and cried this morning. sigh.

feeling like crap. what the hell. we once were an item, but not anymore. looking back, it seemed like it happened such a long time ago. he cheated on me. he lied to me. but that was all in the past. now i am already over him. i like someone else. and now, he tells the guy i like that he had "used" me? that the guy i like is going to "use something that has been used before"? and that im now "second hand"? ughh. this makes me feel like i was only there to satisfy him. for physical intimacy. its as if what mr thomas ong said yesterday was actually true. sigh. and every time when my mother says that teenage girls who french kissed their boyfriends are not virtuous anymore, i feel guilty. wtf. they just can't let me forget the past, can they?

BGI rehearsal

yesterday we had the rehearsal for our sjab Brigade General Inspection aka. BGI
and i have not done BF18! *panicks*

I'M SICK.
my mother thinks its due to st john-ing. doing drill, parades and sleeping late. having slight fever since i woke up, had sore throat since saturday night after eating at crystal jade with my mother and sister. my favourite dish there is still the sweet and sour pork. they've changed the menu again, as the number for the sweet and sour pork dish used to be 85, then 115, and now with the latest menu, no. 409. when i mentioned this at the restaurant, my sister said that it was an inane thing to say. or something.

slept at 1am the night before BGI, paul should know why :D

during the first rehearsal of BGI, i fell out because i was having blur vision. scary. i didn't want to fall out so i stood up after squatting down for a while but the blurry vision came back and some officer said i looked very pale and he thought that i should fall out. so he brought me over to this girl and that girl took off my beret and brought me to the grand stands. i was then given a bottle of water to drink and the first aiders there kept fanning us casualties. and this guy was like, 'got any discomfort? i can help you massage.' hahaha. then he went 'yah, must smile more then you'll feel better.' shi hui from rivervalley also fell out. she looked rather pale and wanted to puke but couldn't.

during the rest of the rehearsals i was okay. because it was only after the first rehearsal when they gave out bottled drinks, a packet of chrysanthemum tea and kaya bread. crapped alot and told the juniors to call yunqian mrs tan.

school was boring today. went straight home after sex education/PCCG. heard that atiqah and amalina have slight fever too. hope nobody else gets sick.

its no wonder why no one understands me, 'cause i dont understand myself either.

what a stressful week

200807, Monday

organised another door to door to collect more donations. along the way, yunqian told us about what happened. i don't think i believe that so called "plan", though. paul finally told me who he liked. but he told me at the wrong time, 'cause when he IM-ed me on msn, my mother was sitting beside me, singing to the S.H.E songs i was listening to. lols. actually i already knew, since it was quite obvious.

210807, Tuesday

mrs toh is finally back! whoohoo. had a fun and totally refreshing history lesson(: paul smsed me something during assembly. so for the rest of the day, i felt like crap. the last lesson was social studies, and getting 12 upon 13 for my ss common test did not cheer me up one bit. ms lau said that she liked my answer or something, but i wasn't paying attention.

after school i stayed back for chemistry remedial, which was a waste of time as i learnt nothing. went down to the st john classroom. the officers was talking to the sec 2s, so i was only allowed to put my bags inside and quickly leave. saw yunqian with nicholas and benjamin and went over. turns out that shiya and yunqian had just treated the cut on nigou's hand. it was just a small cut lah. and i thought it was very serious when yunqian smsed me in class informing me that nicholas had cut himself with a penknife.

anyway, the three of us were locked out and we waited for the 3e1 people to be dismissed. then all of us changed to half u and had training. then we went back to the st john classroom where mdm yaw talked to us. then ma'am jingying, ma'am liping and sir siow. i was still feeling stressed and crappy, so i cried. sigh. then we went back for more footdrill training and our drill was like crap.

220807, Wednesday

during lit, mrs tan suggested that we had a party next thursday! yay can't wait. had CME. volunteered to help out for the food for the heart thing. the guys in class are so unhelpful can. they dont have the spirit to help others. tsk tsk. after school i went to ask my neighbours for donations. collected $21 dollars altogether, but still left with many empty slots.

230807, Thursday

as mrs tan didnt come, nureen and i exchanged secrets during literature(: had the history retest after school, then rushed down with shiya for the walkathon card collection. i think the total amount collected on friday will be alot lesser than what we had collected last year. but i was very happy when my mother passed back my last walkathon card with $50 in it.

240807, Friday

it was raining today, so for PE the majority of us just sat outside the PE store and slacked. denise, ruishan and i were taking turns to write down names of movies to see who could write the most, because we were quite bored. and it turned out to be quite entertaining actually.

after school we had st john training. had footdrill training all the way, and after training, ma'am jac drove ma'am faridah, ma'am jingying, shiya and i to westmall (: then we ate dinner at kfc quickly. shiya and i counted the amount money collected for each of the 100 cards to double check. also had to record it down in the treasury record book, arrange the cards in order according to the card number, and add up the total amount of all three collections. then when we were done, we counted the total amount of money each person has collected to see who collected the highest amount of money in each level.

i wonder why i chose to be the secretary. i still like admin work, but its very stressful.

post ndp fireworks

thought i'd upload some older photos first!

yunqian and i being narcissistic in shuangyu's condo's toilet. when we had pop rehearsal on 100807.

taken on 100707, when me and vera went to the jurong library to study! :D

070807- when me, michelle, ruo nan and yunqian were in the 3e4 classroom waiting for shiya and khadeza. haha michelle is so cute! oops, dont kill me for putting this up please(:

metamorphosis concert night! taken on the glamorous 280707. denise the chio bu!

michelle's birthday present that shiya and i bought! a day before her birthday on 230707. so cute right!

before sjab training on180707! shiya and atiqah(:

new watermelon correction tape from mini toons, after the yingyang one has finished. bought on 110807.

new hairdryer! mother bought it on the 100807.

did titration on 180707.



okay. updates!

130807, Monday.

had chemistry test on acids, bases and salts. after school yunqian pulled me aside and told me something very shocking which made me go like this --> :O

140807, Tuesday.

had common test! on chinese and then humanities. i think chinese was so-so, and humanities were okay. i think i studied too much for social studies the day before and didn't focus more on history, which i studied during the weekend. i even made a mind map for social studies! so hardworking can :D hope i can pass, i think i screwed up and wrote crap.

150807, Wednesday

common test on math and science. i think i MIGHT be able to pass math. and chem so freaking hard. physics was okay lah, some questions were from physics workout. this was predicted, after all it was set by mr goh. ahh! should've studied. was too busy doing this overview of cpbs stuff for 2007 so far last night to be sent to ma'am faridah that i didn't study. but i dont think it would've helped if i did study anyway.

oh yeah, and there was a bee during math lesson, and it kept hanging around debby's place so she started screaming, and irvin mimicked her. lol. it was hilarious. until mdm yeo nipped in the bud and scolded us for wasting 10 minutes of her lesson time. oh well.

after school we had our rehearsal for the upcoming passing out parade this friday. practiced the dance with the other juniors and got the hang of it(: i guess we are quite prepared for the big event, but i can't help feeling nervous. i have so many drinks to bring to school! and i feel that something will go wrong.

anyway, during the rehearsal yunqian kept disappearing and only i knew where she went but i could not say. but after the rehearsal jingyi heard yunqian's voice from the third floor, so she, atiqah, shuangyu and i rushed up to see what was going on. haha. oh well, it wasn't my fault that she was talking so loudly when the school was so quiet. so the rest found out about her "secret". i doubt it will be a secret for long.. this sort of news will spread like wild fire in no time.

160807, Thursday

in the morning i had to drag two cartons of packet drinks from my house all the way to cck mrt station, then take the train to bukit batok. which was very tiring and my shoulders were aching. luckily i asked kuankeong and paul to help me, so they helped to bring the drinks to school for me. thanks! (:

oh man. though i passed my math common test, i failed my chemistry! well i was expected, but still. i thought i had some hope so that i could at least achieve a passing mark. but i was pretty cheered up in literature when mrs tan announced that i got the highest for the recent lit test that we took based on the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. i got 11 upon 12. yay(: michelle and jiaying both got 10. mrs tan took back our scripts to be photocopied.

talked to beatrice during english, cause there was some free time after ms loo gave us some boring primary school-ish worksheets for us to do. she told me lotsa interesting stuff.

after school i went to the cca room to put the 2 cartons of drinks and disposable items inside the logistic cupboard. there was restock duty as well because we wouldnt have time to do restock on friday. i lingered around because i had nothing better to do. jingyi, shuangyu, wenxi and wendy were sitting in the quadrangle talking so i joined in. yunqian was kinda pissed off about her issues. hope everything will turn out fine.

170807, Friday

had to struggled to school today carrying two bottles of syrup and a water dispenser. my shoulders ached even more as i didnt ask for help this time, and i also had to carry my full uniform. luckily i met xueli along my way to school, so she helped me carry my coat cover and shoe bag. thanks xl(:

history was super boring with ms loo conducting the lesson. she was super boring, and with the weather you could easily fall asleep in her class. but shiya and i kept ourselves entertained by gossiping(:

oh, and pop went great! since it rained, we had a treasure hunt. then we went to the AVT room for the perfomance. shiya and i left straight after that to prepare the refreshments. collected the nuggets and made the syrup. there were loads of left over drinks so at the end of everything they were given away to the members. and out of the 2 bottles of syrup we only used one, so the other one is kept back in the cca room along with left over forks and serviettes.

after that we had the parade. we held it in the AVT room since it was still raining, so it was great that the parade was in an air conditioned room. all the sec 3s were promoted to the rank of sergeants(: and all the sec 1s are promoted to the rank of private. liying gave a speech at the end. overall, everything went quite smoothly.

1808007, Saturday.

grabbed this photo from jingyi's blog! we took this in the toilet of plaza sing.


fireworks! taken using my retarded hp camera.





went out with shuangyu, jingyi, wenxi, nureen, kuankeong, paul, zhengjie, nicholas, alvin, matthew, weijie. we watched rush hour 3 at plaza sing. it was veryvery funny(: then we rushed over to watch the post ndp fireworks. so pretty(:

after that we went to marina square where we met up with bertrand and his friends. went for a drink and later it was approaching midnight so we went home. reached home around 12.30am. mother didnt kill me, i said i was caught in a human jam, which was a white lie. its fun to go out with the 2e6 people(: though they should actually inform us of where we were about to go, instead of leading us blindly and going to the wrong mrt line all the time, because this rarely happens to me.

190807, Sunday.

went to woodlands to math tuition. mr leo taught me how to do my further trigo homework but i doubt i would be able to do it by myself. was in the same time slot as those three crappy guys. then went to causeway point after that i had dinner with kk, matthew, and paul.


oops. sorry for late update. had no time to publish this post.

hmm. feel like changing my blogskin. sick of it already.

sj walk a jog '07

10 August, Friday.

was supposed to meet up at bb bus interchange at 9am to go shuangyu's house for the pop dance rehearsal, so i set my alarm to wake me up at 7.30am. i woke up semi conscious, switched my alarm off and went back to sleep. had a weird dream before awaking at 9am when shiya called my house phone, and rushed to meet her. paiseh!

took 67 from choa chu kang instead, and just when we were about to alight we saw ma'am and the others walking to shuangyu's condo. so we met up with them! not considered late after all. lols. anyway after the rehearsal, me shuangyu jingyi yunqian shiya ma'am liping and her friend simin went to the arcade in lot 1. met ruishan there! she was with her mother and her little brother. then we played the game that can get you very high. the one that three people can play and has three buttons for each player to press. the other time at the costa sands resort also have. also played daytona. then yunqian and liping played dance dance revolution. lol!


11 August, Saturday.

went for zone 9's walk a jog in the morning at west coast park! went to play at the playgrounds there before the event started. then walked and jogged 2.4km i think. haha. mostly just walked, lazy lah. 1st from our corps was helin! the others who got medals for being among the top 15 are junyan, jeanne, and jingyi. so we got a trophy for coming in the overall third among the other schools. went to play some more before going to eat lunch at macdonalds.

after that we went to lot 1's arcade again. cause i had some money in shiya's tapz card which we wanted to use. went there with valerie liping shuangyu jingyi shiya yunqian atiqah. but we were wearing bbss shorts so after playing for a while, some guy working at the arcade told us to leave. so atiqah went home and val and liping went to play pool because they are old enough. then the rest of us had nothing to do, but i didnt want to go home so we decided to go watch a movie. shiya went home first and yunqian, jingyi and shuangyu came to my house to check the movie times. we had wanted to watch secret, and shiya and i didnt mind watching it again 'cause it was really very nice. and so they checked the movie times and i dont know how they checked it, but we thought that they would be showing one at 3.30pm. so we went to lot 1 again but there wasn't any 3.30pm movie, only a 5.20pm one.

so in the end we all went back and i walked back home.


12 August, Sunday.

still tired from yesterday. i told my mother to cancel tuition so that we could go to sheng siong to buy some stuffs for pop, but then i realized that i had already canceled tuition last week, when mr tan asked me if he could change my time slot to 1pm, and i said okay but i couldn't come next week because i have some st john event.

which is just as well, since i rather study for the upcoming common tests, and not a math, because im not going to become an accountant or banker in the future, because that would be extremely boring.

ndp '07

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! :)

just watched ndp on tv. the first one ever to be held at marina bay.
and finally i get to watch a parade, instead of being in one.
luckily we already went for ndp last year, because this year's parade was kinda stupid as those supporting contingents from UGs have to carry umbrellas and i dont understand how they can wave to the president when they are at sediya position.
but the lighting effects and fireworks were fabulous.

just now four people who were together were smsing me. yunqian, shuangyu, jingyi and paul. heard that they were at vivocity together with other 2e6 people. yunqian went there with nicholas and met them. lols. also heard that they went to watch the fireworks.

seems like everyone is out while i'm rotting at home. boohoos.

secret

rushed out of the house this morning and missed the 6.50am train! gaahs. so i thought, oh well. i shall take a cab so that i wont be late. but who was i kidding there aren't any cabs at peak hour, you'd have to call for one. and its not like am very rich, so i rushed back to the mrt station but by the time i got there, i missed the second train, which left at 6.56am!

so i was like, what the crap. and walked back home.

silly me, i should have woken up an hour later if i knew i was going to pon school. anyway, i left my house again later and alighted at the 77 bus stop at around 9am. saw ncc land and ncc sea in the basketball court doing drill, but did not dare to step into bbss. so i waited at the 173 bus stop outside the main gate, where i heard the commotion from the quadrangle and many screams. after a while i heard mr cha speaking through the microphone, then ms ngiam. after that, a stream of bbss students were walking out of school and i slipped in.

luckily i didnt join in the lame ndp celebrations, heard that it was pretty boring.

after changing to full-u and placing our belongings into the PE store, the st john contingent went to the form up area. the parade went smoothly. we did not need to wait for the guest of honour, mrs cock, and so the parade seemed to have lasted for only five minutes. it was the shortest, dumbest, and lamest parade ever! lols.

changed back to half u and was dismissed. ate lunch at kfc and as shiya wanted to borrow my S.H.E and jolin CDs, she came to my house to get them. oh yah, i forgot to mention that when i went home on monday, mummy surprised me by buying the S.H.E CD! hahas. love their songs. and it should serve as somewhat a motivation for the upcoming common tests, but i'm still a failure since for tuesday's situational writing, i totally screwed up and missed the point. now i only can place my hopes on humanities.

i searched on yahoo for the movies times of jay chou's movie, 'secret' (不能说的秘密), and found out that the next show was at 3.15pm. so shiya decided to go home first. i went to bathe, and we met about an hour later to buy the tickets.

and oh my gosh, THE MOVIE WAS SO NICE!
it was a sad romance story. jay was this new guy in school who studies music, and he met a girl named rain in an old piano room. they fall in love but another girl, sky, has a crush on jay and a misunderstanding surfaces. there is an unexpected twist to the story and there is more to rain than meets the eye. won't say anymore- watch the movie to find out!

though the ending wasn't very good, i loved the movie!


Follow the notes upon the journey
The first sight marks one's destiny
Once the voyage comes to an end
Return lies within hasty keys

quiz!

Create your own Friend Test here
i'm so lame. shouldn't have chosen to set 20 questions!

oh my gosh tomorrow english common test! and ms loo, the relief teacher for mrs toh, says she doesnt know what is going to come out tomorrow. she only knows that there is situational writing. crap man. other classes were given hints that report writing is going to come out lor.

had 2nd walkathon collection today after AAC rehearsal. didnt know collecting money could be so tiring too. hahas. finally more or less done with the refreshments draft thing. but i still can't go to school in peace because i've not completed 2 chinese newspaper reflections.

whatever. i'm going to sleep now. paul says that we should rest early to concentrate better or something. lols.

happy doing the quiz! hope you fail. wahahaha.

Untitled

i changed my blogskin! its super pretty, and its exactly how i feel. sort of.

right now, my self esteem is dangerously low. sigh.

dead blog

okay. so i haven't been updating. i dont know how to fix my computer, so i have to wait for dad to come back from Doha. anyway, he sent some pictures of pretty buildings there. and camels. oh, and he says that its 51 degrees celcius over there. wow.

here are some of the photos he sent(:

such a pretty villa :D

the ceiling dome shape thing. so cool.

a camel riding off into the sunset..

desert area. close up of the camel (:

pretty ceilings again!


i so desperately need my computer fixed! ahhhhs.

on friday when we were having training, me shiya and yunqian saw ncc having their NDP rehearsal. gary was reading the recollections thing that i used to hear every year in nhps. i wonder if it was jack's idea, you know, since he's from nhps too. the prefects said it every year till i can even memorise it. so i said it along with gary as he said it into the mike while reading form the paper, and it surprised me that clive (he said it was freaky) and shiya and yunqian were so amazed that i knew the words. because i thought they knew it too. i thought it was read out in all schools.

i think its a very good way to remember the history of Singapore. even though it was very boring to hear it every year. if i remember correctly, it goes something like this..

verse one:

there was a time, not long ago,
when other flags flew in Singapore
the British flag in colonial rule,
and the Japanese flag in war.

there was no freedom, no justice,
when our forefathers stepped ashore.
life was a struggle, bitter and hard.
and families were hungry and poor.

they spoke a dozen different tongues,
though their dreams were all the same.
but their hopes for a better life were lost
when war and invasion came.

(response:)
they had no rights, they had no say,
and they longed to be free one day.

verse two:

after the war we called for change,
for the right to decide our fate.
some of us wanted democracy,
others, a communist state.

riots and killings in our streets,
years of hate and fear.
people said we’d never survive
as independence drew near.

when self-rule came, we took a vote
and joined Malaysia, merged as one.
but even friends disagree sometimes,
and more trouble had soon begun.

(response:)
our happiness was not to be
until our country could be free

verse three:

august nine, nineteen sixty five,
we were out of Malaysia, alone.
against all odds we had to build
a nation of our own.

we’ve come this far by ourselves,
one people from many lands.
our forefathers paid the price for us,
now the future is in our hands.

this is our home, where we belong,
and our flag flies high and free.
but let’s not take for granted
what we have will always be.

(response:)
we pledge to keep our nation free
with justice and equality.

haha. no wonder im a history student.

on tuesday, 31st july (alfred's birthday), it was my turn to shout command for morning assembly. right after shuangyu! which sucked because we went by post, chairman first then secretary then DM then training and so on. and i didnt practice or whatever, just stood there and shouted. not really shout, more like scream, since when i went back to class, elliot said that all the guys in class were laughing because my command was too high pitched.

whatever lor. as long as majority of the people can hear my command can liao. hahas. ly said that i shout command very weird. like obviously, i never shout before can! but that's the pot calling the kettle black, since he also shouts weirdly (well, to me) and sometimes i would hear him shout command on fridays when im doing footdrill or teaching sec ones drills, and laugh at him. =X and loads of people said that i didnt sound like me.

but it was really scary because you would have to stand there beside mrs kee and some prefect who had to say the pledge, for quite some time while waiting for everyone to settle down in the quadrangle. and they moved really slowly. and i could see a sea of faces looking at me when i shout command. especially the sec ones in front. scary!

oh yeah. and the metamorphosis concert duty was indeed very boring. but jiazhe and xingliang were very entertaining :D and being backstage during the performance was cool, as it was all dark and stuff. oh, and we saw denise! in her pretty dress and make up and hair-do! she was so chio, that all the guys she walked past would have drooled. LOL. i took a photo with her in the backstage changing room toilet. will upload it when i get the chance.


i wonder if *he* followed what i told paul to tell him, and did something sweet for *her* today.. (: